If you are reading this post, I need to ask for your help. I need you to pray that God will give me wisdom beyond my own understanding in writing this blog and in my communications with those I connect with because of the common bond of losing a child. The outpouring of support and encouragement I have received has been beyond what I could ever ask for to assure me that I am indeed doing what God wants me to do. I appreciate those messages more than I can ever say. But what I need now more than anything is the wisdom to know what to say, when, and to whom. I am so afraid of doing more harm than good. I think it is what kept me from starting this years ago and I think Satan uses it still to keep me questioning my actions. There have been times when I should have been silent and I wasn’t, and times when I should have spoken my heart and I didn’t.
Everyone handles this differently. I think many, especially when the loss is new, need to know the thoughts and struggles of someone else who has been there. But what if what I write CREATES sad thoughts? What if sharing what I have struggled with causes someone else to deal with something that would never even have entered their mind before? Maybe there is such as thing as sharing too much and trying too hard to be there for someone. For some, the pain of losing a child happened long ago and they have dealt with it – the last thing they need is for someone like me to bring it all to surface again. I think that I need discernment and an ability far beyond myself to know when I should simply cover a person in prayer and when that person needs words from a person with flesh on.
So I’m praying the prayer of Solomon. “I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties.” I ask for wisdom and the ability to discern between my own thoughts and His. I ask that you participate in this ministry by offering your own prayers – first for those who have lost a child and second that I won’t stand in the way of God’s healing for them.